Posts tagged #share

Reflection

Reflection Mama Pyjama

I was wandering the streets of Fremantle with a bucket of paella in my hand, people-watching, and enjoying the rarity of a morning to myself when I got the call from my Dad that there was a fire in Stoneville.  “That’s about 3 minutes from my house dad…I’m an hour away…I don’t think there’s anything I can do”. 

I got in my car anyway and drove for what seemed forever, listening to the AM radio for updates and trying to get a call through to my neighbours.  My kids were safe, my husband was safe, but my two dogs were locked inside the house.

By the time I got there my street was blocked off and there was smoke everywhere.  Between my husband and I we managed to get hold of our neighbours, who were thankfully (for us) home when the fire hit.  In the seconds they had before leaving, they smashed a window at our place and rescued our dogs.  Two great big (smelly and sometimes perceived as scary) dogs.  That took guts.  That took humanity.  That was an act of pure selflessness, and one I’m eternally grateful for. 

In the hours and days that followed I learned and gained many things.  I witnessed community and humanity at its greatest.  We forged a friendship with our neighbours (albeit several years too late);  I’m quietly kicking myself for not having shared more drinks over the fence with these fun and generous story tellers!  I learned what gratitude truly feels like.  I experienced a feeling of weightlessness when I realised that at no point in the whole drama had I really concerned myself with the idea of losing our house and everything in it.  I was yet again reminded of the strength of the heart strings that link child to parent.  I had no concern other than for the displacement and anxiety that my sons (particularly my eldest) were experiencing, emphasised by the knowledge of just how close we were to having that displacement extend several months if not years if our house had not been spared. 

This was how my 2014 began.  Some would say that’s a terrible start to a year…for me it was the beginning of a year of awareness, gratitude and awakening.   

Here are some key moments from my 2014:

A hospital emergency trip for each of my boys – one via an ambulance.   With these experiences came gratitude for the health care system we have in Australia.  Gratitude for a husband that sat all night in the world’s most uncomfortable chair so that he could be there for his boy every second of the way;  and the second time ‘round for him riding in the ambulance with our 2 year old strapped to his chest, lying flat on his back as our son struggled to breathe. 

Concerts, a trip to Rotto, many an opportunity for fancy dress and other creative experiences.  I am grateful for friendships – some as old as Beverley Hills 90210, and some new.  I’m thankful for people in my life who love me for who I was, who I am and who I am becoming.

My eldest began Kindy and my baby is now a fully-fledged chatterbox.  It really hit home this year how important it is to appreciate what you have at any given moment because children grow so quickly, and the world changes at such a rapid rate.

Time with my husband.  I am grateful for family that have allowed me to spend some quality time with my husband (who FYI has lost 20 kilos this year! Talk about being proud of him!).  We’ve had some nights out in town touring the small bars and enjoying the luxury (and quiet) of a hotel room.  On the relationship front, it’s been a year of communication, reconnection and awareness.

Awakening my spirituality.  2014 has been a spiritual journey (for want of a better expression) for me.  I’ve stepped way out of my comfort zone, and pushed myself to learn more about who I am in order to accept myself fully.  I’ve done yoga nidra, a workshop on mediumship and sound healing.  I also sang in a choir at my workplace and have written my first song.  I’ve been learning more about chakra healing and raising our vibrations.  In short, I feel much more alive this year and I think that comes from allowing myself to look “silly”, to be uncomfortable and to try new and scary things.

Moving house.  We packed up our storybook cottage and moved to a beautiful home on 10 acres.  I’ll be honest and tell you that it was tough on my relationship! Big decisions and events in life are great opportunities to increase your awareness of your own complexities and of those around you – and this was one such opportunity!  The move has been worth every second of…let’s call it head butting and snappiness.  Our home is very quickly becoming our sanctuary and I am so grateful.

Bruce.  Springsteen.  Held.  My.  Hand.     Enough said.

Refocusing my career.  Those of you who have been following for a while now will have gotten a sense that I’m not entirely content within my current career.  I’ve been working hard this year to refocus and redirect my career down a path that better aligns with who I am (and who I continue to become).  As 2014 draws to a close I await two decisions – one for a new role that I applied for at work in a much more creative and innovative space, the other for a blogging opportunity with Brownes Dairy.  To say I’m excited about the opportunities that await me is an understatement.

And then there’s Mama Pyjama.  In between all this I’ve been talking to you guys, sharing a bit of my life with you, learning a little more about all of your’s in the process, and working with some really cool companies.  I got to interview a Disney Star…I mean seriously, less than two years ago I would have never envisaged that.  It’s been a blast.

I do so hope that you have also had a fantastic 2014…even if it involved some trials and tribulations.  Afterall it is often adversity that is our greatest motivator.  Every event in our life offers its own unique teaching or opportunity.  It is up to us to uncover it, to listen to it, to accept it and to act on it. 

I look forward to painting my future with all of you in it.  Remember, if we believe it to be true, it is true.  If we believe it to be real, it is real. 

So get imagining the future you want to see yourself in ‘cause I’ll be asking you very soon to share it with me (and the universe). 

Many blessings, and may your 2015 be truly wonderful! xo

Competition

"Save the pretending for parties!"

"Save the pretending for parties!"

I am very lucky to be surrounded by supportive women who share the same “no holds barred” approach to discussing our parenting experiences.  But I’ve heard so many stories from women about the pressures they feel in living up to the carefully constructed images that other mothers present. 

You know the ones…claiming to never have sworn, or yelled, or lost their temper.  Sprouting about getting a full night’s sleep every night with their newborn.  Comparing the milestones of your children with theirs.  Constantly posting updates on how wonderful their life is and how motherhood is a dream.  These are usually the same mums that are making the judgement calls on putting your child in daycare or being a stay-at-home mum, preaching whatever opinion suits their situation and putting down anyone that does the opposite. 

Ah good luck to them!  If this perfect little world really does exist for them, consider them the one in a million - the winners of the parenting lottery.  I’m happy for them, honestly I am!  But as for the rest of them, let’s get real.  You seriously have never ever, not once wanted to lock your child in a room and run out of the house screaming?  They’ve never pushed your buttons so much that you’ve lost the plot and yelled ridiculous statements like “what is WRONG with you?” two inches from their face?  You’ve never rewashed the laundry three times, or let dishes pile up for a week?  Never sat in a corner crying wondering how you got to where you are?  The statement “I’m failing” or “I totally suck at being a mum” or “I can’t do this” have never crossed your mind?

So flip it 'round and think of it a different way.  Instead of comparing yourself to these women, or buying into their opinions and mind games…think about how hard it must be to be them.  Imagine waking up each day and lying to yourself and everyone around you about how ‘easy’ everything is.  Imagine never getting any help because no one thought you needed it.  Imagine how hard they must work to ensure that their house is pristine so as to leave no hint of struggle.  Imagine how difficult it must be to maintain the facade.  Urgh!  No thanks!  I’ll take second guessing, guilt ridden, slightly lunatic, warts and all mum over that any day.

If you ARE one of these women – please stop.  Women have come a long way in recent years, and a lot of them have fought really really hard to get us equal opportunities and rights.  Stop sabotaging our gender!  We should be banding together, not putting each other down or creating unnecessary competition and pressure.  We need to support one another, prop each other up, share our struggles and celebrate our successes - together as one.  It’s a modern world, there’s a lot of pressure on mums to be a lot of different things now days.  Please stop adding to that pressure! 

If you’re right smack bang in the middle of being dragged into this comparison game…get off the train!  Now!  You’re tired, you’re vulnerable, you’re susceptible – they’re preying on you!  Don’t let them get their teeth in.  It’s not too late!  Run - run really really fast in the opposite direction.  In fact, run over to Mama Pyjama on facebook  – read the blogs, read the responses from readers – there’s a whole community of real, supportive, honest parents out there.  Get in amongst it and save yourself the pain of trying to live up to unrealistic expectations.