I’m a naysayer, a wet blanket…I am officially a killjoy.
I had not anticipated the impact on my state of mind that being the ‘bad guy’ would have. “No” is not a word I like, and one I rarely needed to use pre-children. Now it seems it’s in every other sentence that comes rolling off my tongue.
There are times when I just want to cry because it feels like all I’ve done for 12 hours is take things away, say no and put the brakes on anything that looks remotely like ‘fun’.
I know it’s all part of the gig. You have little lives in your hands…you can’t very well let them run around with scissors, eat chocolate for breakfast or test their new wings from the roof of your two storey house. But it is really hard not to let it get to you!
I’m an optimistic, easy-going (mostly!) person by nature…but at times it becomes hard to separate your personality from your parental responsibilities. It’s difficult not to absorb the negative rhetoric. You start to feel irritated and frustrated when it seems like all you’re doing is putting up barriers. It’s tough not to begin thinking of yourself as a blocker, a naysayer, a wet blanket, a pessimist, a killjoy …
But I guess I’ve just got to suck it up and take this one on board. If I wasn’t being the ‘bad guy’ sometimes, I wouldn’t be doing my job, right? I’m providing safe boundaries, I’m teaching them valuable life skills…and I’m keeping the alive. I think I just need to remind myself of these things when I sense an impending tail spin at the end of a long, hard day of saying “no”.