Posts tagged #mind

Manifesting Your Reality

"If I dream hard enough, it will be..."

"If I dream hard enough, it will be..."

Over the last week I have lost a few things…a job opportunity, a chicken and, on more than one occasion, my mind.

Here’s what became of the job and the chook…

I woke up Friday morning to find Lovey Loveheart missing.  Upon further investigation my son found a pile of feathers, but no sign of an entry or exit from the coop.  It was a mystery.  A gut-wrenching, horrible, awful mystery.  After a lot of hopeful searching, I reluctantly proceeded to try and explain to my boys that Lovey Loveheart had likely been taken by a fox and would not be returning.  You can imagine the emotional rollercoaster ride that proceeded.  I’ve been in a bit of a funk ever since. 

Compounding the funk is the sense of uncertainty I’ve been feeling of late, as I wait to hear the outcome of my job application at work and my interview with Brownes.  I’ve been stuck in the waiting cycle; now adding to that is the wait for little Lovey to miraculously reappear. 

Yesterday, I got a call from Brownes.  I didn’t win the blogger ‘competition’; I came a very close second.

I hung up the phone and for a small moment, my mind was completely blank.  A peaceful, quiet, knowing space.  It felt good.  Then I began to feel my body’s reaction…hang on, is that relief I’m feeling?  Relief, closely followed by excitement?  Now my brain kicks into gear and the thoughts start flying from every direction.  What just happened?  They just told me I didn’t ‘win’, so how come I feel like I did?

What they also said was this: “We’d like to know if you’d be interested in guest blogging for us?”

So here’s the thing…I really wanted this gig.  It would be fantastic experience with a great WA company and it would be paid work. I could actually put that on my CV.  How cool would that be?  But there was a part of me that was concerned that they wouldn’t think I had capacity to fulfil the role given my fulltime job as a Project Manager.  I KNOW I could do it – I have great time management ability, particularly when I’m passionate about something, but going into the interview this was in the back on my mind the whole time. 

 HERE'S WHAT THIS EXPERIENCE TAUGHT ME ABOUT MANIFESTING YOUR REALITY:

  • It’s about understanding that your thoughts and your perceptions guide the ultimate creation of your experience. 
  • It’s not about getting everything you set your mind to. It’s about seeing the opportunity in everything your mind brings forward into reality. 
  • What we focus on expands.  Thoughts need fuel to evolve into things/situations/experiences.  This fuel is the energy we drive into them. 
  • The nature of our energy will influence the nature of our change.  For example if the energy holds a low vibration (such as negative thoughts, phases, notions) then the outcome will likely be reflective of that energy; the ‘bad thing’ will eventuate or you won’t get the ‘good thing’ you had your heart set on.
  • It’s about acknowledging the power of words and their ability to redefine our world.  Words, like everything else, carry vibration.  We want to be using words that carry high vibrational energy, like ‘gratitude’, ‘love’, ‘abundance’.  We want our internal thoughts to reflect the same vibration.  It’s about reshaping our language (both internal and external) to reshape our reality.   
  • We truly can redefine, recreate and re-scope our reality just by slight shifts in our perception along the way.

So yesterday I realised it was about reshaping my perception of what it means to win.  Moreover, to question whether the value placed on winning is in fact completely wasted energy?  Perhaps it is more important to identify the lessons, opportunities and good fortunes that come purely from the experience of the journey.

I also learnt first-hand the impact that thoughts can have on our reality.  I was so focused on my capacity (or perceived incapacity) to fulfil the role.  Thankfully the focus I put into it was actually still positive energy.  I visualised myself in the role, I felt the excitement and the gratitude for being in the role, I focused my energy on my ability to fulfil whatever the role entailed.  However, there was doubt there about the impact being chosen for the role may have on other aspects of my life.  I am sure that influenced the outcome. 

Fortunately what I in turn managed to do was manifest a reality that suits me perfectly.  I wasn't selected for the advertised role, but instead they CREATED a second job just for me that perfectly aligns with where I am and where I’m headed.  I get to blog for Brownes, and I get to blog about one of the things I'm most passionate about - WELLBEING. 

I trust the universe and I trust that I am exactly where I need to be right now, and I’m grateful for the opportunities I’m presented with.  I believe this way of thinking is key to unlocking the life I dream and imagine myself in, and I hope that I’ve given you some food for thought, or a fresh perspective to ponder...

SO WHAT ABOUT THE CHICKEN?!?

Well my five year old woke every morning for the past 5 days to tell me that he’d dreamt about Lovey Loveheart and that he really misses her and wishes she could come back.

Last night we looked up to see Lovey Loveheart (AKA Rambo) hobbling down our driveway, with a bung leg but otherwise completely unharmed after 5 days in the wild.  This is further proof, my friends, that if you want something badly enough you really can shift your reality…even to a place where chickens can return from the dead.

Inner Child

"How could you ignore me?"

"How could you ignore me?"

“Why did you leave me?”

During a sound healing meditation this weekend we called upon our inner child to deliver us a message. This was mine.

A wave of emotion built up inside me and spilled out of the corners of my closed eyes. My mind exploded with a montage of memories…faces, moments, feelings…then they faded, and everything went still as the weight on those five words settled in my heart.

“Why did you leave me?”

This phrase carries a multitude of meanings for me - from abandonment to trust, to fear to loneliness, to a sense of growing up too fast. But most importantly, it brings to the forefront the knowing that I have stifled and oppressed my inner child for too long.

This is how I’ve always dealt with the tough things in life. I pile a whole lot of good stuff on top of the bad stuff and it disappears. I push it down until I can’t see it or feel it anymore. I shove it into the back of the cupboard and cover it over with a big old coat that I’ll never wear again. I separate, I disconnect…I leave it behind.

Somehow in this process I left my inner child behind. She sits in the corner of my mind with her knees to her chin and her long hair falling over her face. She’s barefoot and looks a little hungry. She wears a white dress, long sleeves, a little like a nightie. Her eyes are big, blue, shiny. You can’t see her very well with all the stuff around her; the light can’t get in. There are boxes and books and piles of photographs. And lists, lists, lists. There are clothes on racks and a record player – dusty. A home movie playing over and over on a screen in the background. It would be easy to miss her, to forget her…to leave her behind.

Somewhere along the way, I did just that.

Our inner child is both a subconscious reflection of our emotional experiences from childhood, and the aspect of ourselves that is fun, innocent, creative and straight-shooting. You can get a good sense of your inner child (as it relates to the emotional stuff) if you look at what your triggers are and how you react when your buttons are pressed. Often in these circumstances our behaviour and its intensity is disproportionate to the action or event. We yell, we cry, we slam doors, we sulk - we overreact. To the onlooker we look exactly like the child that is driving us from within.

How I perceive today will never ever be the same as how you perceive today (even if you were sitting alongside me the entire 24hrs). How I perceive and recall events, how I interpret them and how I react to them is based on accumulated emotional experiences and associated reactions. These reactions have become preprogramed to form the inner child I now carry with me today. If you don’t take the time to nurture, acknowledge and heal your inner child, and allow them to grow and integrate with your adult self, your ability to love fully, live openly, and interact meaningfully with others is limited.

In the process of pushing aside the hurts and traumas of my inner child I have, for a very long time ignored the creative, fun, innocent and open aspects of her also. This is something I have been working on reconnecting with since the evolution of Mama Pyjama. I’ve been doing a good job of that – encouraging us all to get in touch with the playful child within us, to live in the ‘now’, to embrace all the wonderful opportunities we are presented with as parents to really let go, relax and be a kid again. But what I am realising now is that this cannot be done in isolation.

 It’s all very well to embrace the carefree aspect of our inner child…but we can’t just ignore the hurts and the traumas.

I need to look inwards and draw my inner child out of the dark corner of my mind to nurture her, heal her and to seek forgiveness.  I encourage you all to do the same. It’s a work in progress, but I know that in doing so I will eventually be able to integrate all the aspects of myself which will allow me to fully be me – no inhibitions, more meaningful relationships, and less anxiety!