“It’s not a bad life – it’s just a bad day” ... It’s just a bad day.
I never thought I’d have to remind myself of this so many times. I’m grateful. Grateful for everything that I have and everything that I am. But I’m also really tired. And I’m a little sad. And I also somewhat dejected. Things have been tough this year. It’s super hard some days to keep that smile on your face. To remind yourself that it’s just a bad day. Sometimes you want to just fold, give-in, surrender.
I put my heart and soul into everything I do…I’m doing too much. My soul is starting to ache.
Sometimes, I don’t want to be the strong one. Sometimes I don’t want to be optimistic. Sometimes I just want to check out.
I know that people think I’m naive. I really do see the best in people. I trust with blind faith. I really do believe that the world is full of people just doing the best that they can. But I guess sometimes, it is hard to maintain. Sometimes it’s really hard not to get sucked in, dragged down, absorbed by the negativity.
Sometimes it really does feel like the world’s against you.
Sometimes it feels like more than a bad day.
I’ve had a lot of those ‘sometimes’ lately.
So here’s what I’m coming to realise… just as a smile can raise a thousand suns, so can a thousand unshed tears sink a lifetime of happiness. If I want to rise up, I know I need to stop pushing down. I know I need to stop fighting the feelings I don’t want to face. I need to feel, breathe, cry, nurture, embrace…. But I’m scared; because what if I can’t find my way back?
I know that if I was talking to a friend that these are the things I would say:
You need not fear. Your time to be all the things you dreamed of is nigh, but it is not now. And that’s ok. Your time to BE is now. Just be. Be you. Be happy. Be sad. Be angry. Be hopeful. Be whatever it is that you need to be in any given moment. Stop trying to control it all. Stop trying to make things happen ahead of time. Stop trying to understand. Just let it be. Just let yourself be. Breathe. Dream. Feel. Accept. Trust. Everything is exactly as it should be. YOU are exactly as you need to be.
"It’s not a bad life. It’s just a bad day".